Issue 12: Tips For Planning Your Wedding Reception Timeline
When planning a wedding, there are so many details to consider that it can be overwhelming - from picking the right vendors, decor, food, music…. The number of options is staggering and is enough to drive even the most Type A person bonkers. Once you’ve picked all of that, the choices don’t stop. You still need to schedule the best time for photos (most photographers, for summer weddings or weddings in areas that don’t have issues with cold weather will want to take advantage of the “golden hour” for amazing outdoor photos), make sure the caterer or venue has a solid timeline so entrees can be finished on time, and you want to leave adequate time for all the formalities and dining…. But then when do you dance?!?!?! Luckily, there are some simple things to be aware of to ensure an amazing timeline. We discuss those here, then give a sample schedule, and end with a few additional tips to make sure your wedding is as magical and memorable as you deserve.
First, something everyone planning a wedding should be aware of is most crowds don’t like to dance for more than an hour - an hour and fifteen minutes tops. While there are always exceptions, when you take the typical mix of guests at a wedding, you will see people leaving the dance floor to take a break for various reasons if you go longer than that. People will want to get a drink, go to the bathroom, rest their feet for a moment, talk to someone they haven’t seen in awhile…. The list goes on, but if you want a full dance floor, you should limit each dance set to no more than an hour or so to guarantee people will stay on the floor.
Second, your guests want to spend time with YOU! So, if you are not dancing, the likelihood is they won’t be either - they will be wherever you are. Here at Clarity, we’ve heard horror stories of bands playing to empty rooms because the couple didn’t stay at the party. One particularly surprising story occurred when the couple wanted to hang out all night in the Pre-Prohibition style cigar bar area the venue had outside, far from the band. All the guests followed the couple out there, and only came in to eat the meals and for speeches. The band performed to an empty room all night long.
Third, guests like novelty. The more you can spread out formalities to keep changing things up, the more everyone will pay attention to what’s happening. Large blocks of formalities can get wearing on your guests - so plan on splitting them up.
Lastly, caterers and venues have their own rules regarding timelines to ensure they can get things done at the level you are expecting - usually, they want an hour between first course (salad) and the main course to ensure the food can be prepped on time, so these times may need to be adjusted accordingly to meet their needs.
With all of that in mind, here is a suggested order for the wedding reception - any good planner and vendor will work with you to ensure the timeline fits your needs, but in our 10+ years of experience, we’ve found this general timeline seems to create the best flow and the most engagement from wedding guests.
We make a few assumptions here:
You are doing all the most common formalities - so times will need to be adjusted if you plan on not doing some of them
You are doing your cocktail hour during the “golden hour” so you can capture photos while your guests mingle, eat a little, and have a drink. This is the most common scenario, so if your reception overlaps the golden hour you may need to adjust this a bit
You are doing a standard 3 course dinner - first course or salad, main course, and desert. Usually dessert is served during the last dance set, and often the band will keep the floor going and guests who want dessert can go eat. If you are doing a venetian style dessert buffet, or a formal seated desert, you can adjust to allow for that.
5 pm - Cocktail hour
6 pm - Reception begins
6 - 6:20 pm - Guests transition from cocktail hour to the reception
6:20 - 6:30 pm - Grand Entrances - Parents, wedding party, couple
6:30 - 6:35 pm - First dance (we highly recommend that if you are not doing a choreographed dance that you invite your guests to join you approximately halfway through the song - your emcee will be able to make that announcement for you)
6:35 - 6:50 pm - First Dance set (this will often include any special crowd dances such as a tarantella or hora if desired)
6:50 - 7 pm - First Course (typically salad)
6:55 - 7:15 pm - Toasts - These typically run about 5 min per speaker. From talking to many videographers and photographers, we recommend having toasts late in the first course (10 min or so) so that most people are finished eating and you don’t end up with pictures or video of guests eating while someone is giving their toast. Most people have 3-4 toasts - 1 speech from the parent(s) of each family, and 1 each from the main attendants (usually the Maid of Honor and Best Man).
7:15 - 7:25 pm - Parent dances
7:25 - 8:20 pm - Second Dance Set
8:20 - 8:50 pm - Main course
8:50 - 9:00 pm - Cake Cutting
9 - 9:05 pm - Bouquet Toss
9:05 - 10 pm - Third Dance Set
Average Times for Formalities
Cocktail/Reception Transition - average 15-20 minutes - 100+ guests don’t transition quickly from one space to another - people get drinks, chat, stroll, etc. The bigger the guest count, the longer this takes.
Grand Entrances Time - average 10 minutes - this is dictated by a few factors
Size of wedding party - the more people to introduce, the longer it takes
The size of the room - the bigger the room, the longer it takes for the party to get to their designated spots, making the entrances take longer
The number of songs - the more a band has to change songs, the longer it takes as they have to transition before more introductions can be made
First Dance - average time 4-5 minutes - the average ballad performed for a first dance is over 4 minutes. Some run over 5 minutes
Toasts - average 5 min per toast - length is entirely determined by the speaker and the number of toasts - if the couple is worried they should talk to their speakers to get them to limit their speech lengths
Parent dances 5-10 minutes - Usually these are shortened songs, running about 2 minutes, but with transition parents on and off the floor it can easily run more than 5 minutes. If you don’t shorten them, it can run 10 minutes or more
Cake Cutting - usually 8-10 minutes - the cake cutting song is called, and then they usually bring the cake out (or bring the couple to the cake). Then, there are pictures, the cake is cut, the couple serves each other, and then often there are a few more pictures. This adds up, and those 8-10 minutes fly by.
Bouquet Toss - average 5 minutes - by the time the single ladies are gathered on the floor, the bride is positioned, and the bouquet is tossed, it can easily run 5 minutes. Then, allowing for a couple of quick pictures after before anything else starts, it’s an easy 5 minutes
Garter - up to 10 minutes - this has become less common, or shortened. If they are doing the full garter, then it can take up to 10, from getting a chair on the floor, the bride on the chair and the groom there to take the garter off, then gathering all the single men, then the groom tossing the garter, followed by pictures. This will be extended if you are then having the man who caught the garter put it on the woman who caught the bouquet, and often there is a slow dance that follows with those two guests after.
Hora/Tarantella 3-10 minutes - this all depends on the family. The hora usually takes longer as at least the bride and groom (sometimes the parents of both as well) are lifted in chairs during the dance. But, cultures have shifted, and different things can happen during these times (sometimes the chair lift is now part of the tarantella, sometimes there are other dances included during these), so it really depends on the couple and what they are planning.
Here are a few more tips to ensure your timeline goes smoothly, and you have an amazing party!
Vendor meals should be served first - before the guests. The reason for that is because you want them ready to jump back in when your guests and you are ready, and considering many of them are on site for 8-10 hours, they will need to eat. By serving them at the beginning of the main course, they can eat and be ready to start the party again after the main course, rather than you waiting for them.
Put your planner and/or venue in touch with your band (and visa versa!) as soon as possible so they can discuss timeline needs. Every venue and planner wants the party to go as smoothly as possible, so ensuring those key vendors are talking early will make sure the timeline will work well for everyone!
A big part of the main dinner service taking so long is serving the guests. One way to get more time in is to have your band overlap dinner service a bit by keeping the dance floor open until approximately half the guests' dinners have been served. This still allows enough time for guests and the band to eat (especially if you’ve ensured the band meals have been served first), ensures guests meals don’t get cold (for the ones that have been served), and can add up to 10 more minutes of dancing to your timeline.
Always assume formalities will take longer than you expect. We are sure that you are looking at some of the times and are shocked they take so long, but more goes into each formality than you may realize. If you want to know more, set up an appointment with our team and we will be happy to explain further.
If you want more time for dancing (the timeline above has about 2 hours for dancing, give or take), consider cutting/limiting speeches, cutting or shortening formalities, or booking extra time with the venue and the band to extend your timeline. Remember that you may want to find creative ways to break up that extra time so that you have a crowd on the floor (for instance, if you book an extra 30 minutes, consider adding the bulk of that to your first dance set before the first course - your guests will be coming in from cocktail hour and won’t be desperate to eat the salad, so you get a nice long dance set before dinner).
